Warnings vs. Encouragement

 

I loved this blog post that my friend shared with me about the “warnings” we get when we’re expecting. It was so uplifting and encouraging.

My friend and I were chatting yesterday about all the awful things people say to pregnant women and new moms, even with the best intentions. I am so excited to become a mom, to experience all the great things that come along with parenthood. That doesn’t mean I’m blissfully unaware that challenges lie ahead.

I am aware that there will be many days when I’m tired, unwashed and overwhelmed. I haven’t experienced it yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know its coming.

I also know that I won’t want to trade my child for all the sleep, showers and sexy clothes in the world. I won’t want to trade my child for all the exotic getaways and new computers and nights on the town.

But the way some people speak to me about pregnancy and parenthood, it’s like they’re trying to talk me out of it or something. Like I should have thought about all the crappy parts of parenting before deciding to actually become one.

Well, I did think about it. And my response is bring it on.

I don’t need warnings. What I really need is encouragement.

Instead of telling me that my life as I know it will never be the same, tell me it’ll be better. Tell me that there will be tough times, but that watching your child grow up makes it all worth it and more. Tell me that it won’t be easy, but I’ll get through it and be a better person on the other side.

I know those statements are just as true, and a million times more helpful in preparing me for this new chapter in my life than “sleep/shower/get a manicure now, because you never will again”.

Maybe our society needs a healthy dose of optimism when it comes to childbirth and parenthood. I mean, if it was truly as awful as some people have told me it is, our species would have died out a long time ago. Yet somehow, we survive the fatigue and stress and sacrifice and we do it all over again, because the love we have for our children trumps the tough parts and the inconveniences.

So it really can’t be that bad.

Monica